Karen Stewart: This review was originally published in 2002 in gaytoday.badpuppy.com and was reprinted with their permission.
The Amazon Girls Handbook is one woman's semi-comedic/semi-serious effort to redress some of the disappointments felt keenly by young lesbians as members of their local Brownie and Girl Scout troops. Becky Thacker begins by acknowledging the secret of so many young lesbians: that their experiences as Brownies/Girl Scouts didn't really live up to the fantasy of adventure and female outdoorsy fun.
She writes:
“In our dreams we pitched cozy, two-person tents and unrolled our bedrolls next to our faithful best pals. Our troop leader, who strongly resembled that gym teacher we loved so much, regularly had to be rescued by us from marauding snakes, spiders, or jaguars. We sat around the campfire at night and looked modest as the members of our troop praised our wisdom and bravery. Sure we did. You remember. Admit it.
”...(I)nstead our moms signed us up for Brownies and we ate cookies, drank Kool-Aid, sang some dippy songs in a circle of wheezing, myopic, homely little twits in those dumb brown dresses, and went home to dream our lonely dreams.”
She knows of what she speaks. I spent nearly ten years in Brownies and Girl Scouts and had various dumb similar experiences, none of which involved campfires and female bonding. (Unfortunately, I never even got an appropriate gym teacher to admire. My gym teacher was male, low browed, sweatsuited, and rumored to be the missing link they kept telling us about in Biology class).
Thacker's effort is a lesbian version of Girl Scouts/Brownies that addresses those unfulfilled childhood expectations. She has reconstructed a more realistic motto (“We're prepared for a few things”), a salute (dope-slap on forehead with eyes rolled heavenward), and an oath more in harmony with the true nature of lesbianity. She encourages her readers to form their own Amazon Girls “tribe” (not “troop”) with a few friends.
Thacker retools the Girl Scout model, inventing a detailed organizational structure as well as an individual rank hierarchy (from Tomboy to Goddess) and system of merit badges (including “Coming Out” and “Making a Fashion Statement”).
Thacker's offbeat brainstorm places her in serious contention to be the Juliette Gordon Low of Amazonia. Unlike the founder of the Girl Scouts, however, Thacker even directs the reader through the wilderness of the worldwide web, including the Amazon Girls website, www.amazongirls.org. (It really exists! Nicely done site).
I was a bit surprised that the topic of cookie sales was omitted, since it forms a significant part of the legacy of every Brownie and Girl Scout troop. Regardless of that omission, the book is light, entertaining reading, complete with instructions for forming your own “tribe.” Thin Mint, anyone?
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