Julie L. Anderson: Julie L. Anderson is a graduate student in the counseling psychology doctoral program at the University of Southern California. Her specialty is gender studies, with an emphasis on changing attitudes toward gays, lesbians, and women in America. She is currently the Associate Development Director at G.L.A.A.D. (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) and worked for 6 years at the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center in program management and development.
Coming Home to America, written by the former director of the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, and of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, is reminiscent of one of Torie Osborn's many speeches—fiery, inspirational, positive, visionary, opinionated, and thought provoking. Osborn combines her own and others' personal experiences, research, theory, and history to suggest that coming out, building local gay and lesbian community centers, supporting our leaders as opposed to attacking them, and getting involved politically and/or in social service organizations that take care of gays and lesbians should be important priorities during the next phase of the gay and lesbian movement. She also suggests that it will be important to share with the rest of America gays and lesbians' diverse spirituality, creativity, inclusive approach to problem-solving, skills in building unity out of diversity, community ethic of caring, and the ability to rejoice in the face of pain and horror.
Coming Home to America opens with an historical look at the gay and lesbian movement in the United States. Osborn suggests that many of the recent gay and lesbian civil rights losses (i.e. the 1993 military issue) were due to the radical right's financial power and ability to influence policy makers with inaccurate and demeaning information about gays and lesbians. The right's campaigns continue to portray gays and lesbians as sick, sinful, and desperate, sexually obsessed child molesters. Osborn also attributes these losses to lack of strategy and vision, bitter infighting between key gay and lesbian groups and individuals, along with negative public perceptions about gays and lesbians. A 1993 Newsweek poll found that only 43 percent of Americans reported even knowing someone gay. She cites another recent poll that found that about 60 percent of Americans still consider homosexuality to be immoral. Negative perceptions, fear, and ignorance set the stage for her call for all gays and lesbians to come out to everyone they come into contact with. Osborn contends that if everyone came out, public perception about gays and lesbians would change in the positive direction. This is probably true. However, in her enthusiasm, Osborn writes, “Nobody regrets coming out, no matter what the consequences” (p.24). This is a presumptuous, irresponsible, and even dangerous statement. We may never know about the youth in a small town who comes out and is rejected by his or her family and decides that the only alternative is suicide. It should be noted that some pages later, she outlines some of the potential risks involved (i.e. family estrangement) with coming out.
Osborn makes a good point that silence and invisibility smothers one's own real self and can lead to death—emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically. In another argument as to why people should come out, she suggests that the closeted person is fooling him or herself by thinking that no one knows about their sexual orientation. She states, “In truth, their personal style, or their transgression of traditional gender roles, or their long-term same-sex partner clearly reveals their sexual orientation to co-workers or neighbors” (p. 19). This statement can be challenged on many levels. First, she is using stereotypical manifestations of gay and lesbian affect to make her argument. In addition, there are many gays and lesbians who “pass” as heterosexual. This is one of the too common instances in Coming Home to America where there seems to be no evidence backing up an idea or concept. Overall, Osborn makes a compelling argument for people to come out. She states, “because of our coming out, consciousness is raised, bigotry diminishes, and behavior changes in positive ways in places that we have no idea we've reached” (p. 75).
When dealing with issues of family values and gay and lesbian marriage, the fiery Osborn comes out. She aptly starts the discussion with public perceptions. Seventy-two percent of Americans disapprove of gay marriage; 62 percent oppose domestic partnership benefits; 65 percent don't support gay and lesbian parenting; and 62 percent don't want their children to play with the children of gays and lesbians. She argues that the right wing should fear gay marriage—not because heterosexual marriage will be undermined, but because the notion of marriage will be transformed, broadened, and democratized. Democracy is not what the right wants.
Again, in her strong argument in support of gay marriage, Osborn makes a statement about gay and lesbian relationships being freer from some of the abuse that plagues many heterosexual relationships. To illustrate this point, she cites evidence suggesting that one out of three heterosexual women faces a pattern of violence with a husband or boyfriend at sometime in her life. The problem with this argument is that there is a growing amount of literature documenting domestic violence in both gay and lesbian relationships suggesting that gay and lesbian relationships are not immune to the many problems heterosexual couples experience. In addition, this argument creates the impression that gay and lesbian relationships are inherently better than heterosexual relationships. Osborn later accurately illustrates the point that gay and lesbian relationships are many times different from traditional heterosexual relationships that subscribe to rigidity of roles.
As the book moves into discussions about community, Osborn perceives that the women's movement and AIDS have brought gay men and lesbians together like never before. She believes this important powerful force is leading to the community-building that is needed for the next major phase of the gay and lesbian movement. Osborn's vision of this next important phase of the movement involves bringing gay and lesbian culture, community, and movement out of the big cities and into the smaller towns, suburbs, and rural areas of America. She suggests that there should be gay and lesbian community centers in every town. In her opinion, these are places where ideas, leadership, activism, values, and vision emerge. She also believes that community centers send a message that “We take care of our own.”
Osborn warns that while the movement progresses, gays and lesbians must deal with some of the long time barriers to progess. These barriers include leadership-bashing and fighting within and across gay and lesbian organizations, better known in other civil rights movements as oppression sickness. The concept of infighting among minorities has been seen in all civil rights movements. Infighting hurts the ability of organizations to operate efficiently and effectively. She suggests with strong leadership and ethics, the gay and lesbian community will be able to effectively fight the real enemies—the right-wing Christian political extremists.
“From the “two-spirited ones” of Native cultures, through our long history of artistic genius in every branch of the arts and literature, to our leadership in every social justice movement in history and our unrecognized professional overrepresentation in today's schools and hospitals, gay people have a rich tradition of challenging and helping improve the world” (p. 217-218). These are the strengths and talents that gays and lesbians can share with the majority culture. These are the ideas that line the roadmap across America.
One of the biggest strengths in Coming Home to America is Osborn's use of stories from and about gays and lesbians from people of all classes, races, genders, and religions from all over America. These stories have the ability to make one laugh, cry, and provoke one to think about the courage, talent, passion, and caring that is present in many gays and lesbians. These real life experiences tie the political to the personal throughout the book. Again, the main weakness of Coming Home to America is Osborn's overuse of unsubstantiated opinions about important concepts that are relevant to the current gay and lesbian movement.
Although there are places in Coming Home to America that are a little too pushy, project an all too positive view of gay and lesbian communities, or reuses the old idea of coming out as a key to social change, Osborn adds something new. She creates a gestalt for lesbian and gay people so they are able to view themselves as whole and to see how their unique whole fits into and can transform the larger whole of America. In Coming Home to America, Osborn presents herself as a leader. The book illustrates how the gay and lesbian community created momentum in the past and how it can create it in the future.
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