Mary M. Read: Mary M. Read, M.S., MFCC is a psychotherapist practicing in Los Alamitos, CA, a part-time instructor in the M.S. in Counseling program at California State University, Fullerton, (her alma mater) and a Ph.D. student in Counseling Psychology at the University of Southern California. She is doing qualitative research on lesbian identity, with a focus on narrative construction.
Under the publication information on the title page appears this notation: “The authors ask reviewers to respect the fact that this book is for Lesbians only”. That is a wonderful example of the clear, direct honesty this self-published volume conveys. This book is not to everyone's taste, certainly. Many Lesbians will not rest comfortably with the information presented or the viewpoints shared. The authors realize this and make no apology for it. Their self-appointed task is to show, through reasoned argument and personal testimony how being a dyke loving other dykes is the ONLY way to be non-het(erosexist), non-patriarchal, non-lesbophobic and woman affirming.
This is a thoughtful and thought-provoking volume. Viewpoints are put forward with examples drawn from history, (a perfectly useful Greek word that has nothing to do with maleness, as the authors point out) interpreted through the lens of Lesbian reality. Beginning with a list of terms, uncompromisingly defined and boundaried, the book illuminates one construct after another as Lesbian-hating and dyke-destroying. Different cultures, historical epochs and socio-economic strata are represented in the exploration of how these dykes (“women” would be a term of insult to them) came to know that they wanted to be with, for and about only other dykes.
There is a focus on oppression in this work, a steady, stubborn refusal to look away from or gloss over the countless, daily ways in which Lesbian lives and realities are discounted, denied and made dangerous. The clarity of the voice, regardless of which author is speaking lends power and credibility to the logic no matter how obscure the viewpoint had formerly been. The feeling after reading it remains - how did I not see that before? Where was I looking (where had my gaze been directed) that I missed the simple facts of Lesbian oppression, both internal and external? Butch oppression is one arena that is theorized to cause stratification within and beyond the Lesbian community. A preference for “femininity” is located with het privilege, given as evidence of the hegemony visible in gender roles and the pervasiveness of Lesbian-hatred. Two of the authors (Linda and Ruston) identify as Fem Dykes, but make it clear that they are “as willing to fight fem privilege as Butch Dykes are” (p.141).
Asking hard questions, (e.g., who pays for fem privilege and who benefits from butch stereotypes) the authors draw the reader into a fuller understanding of role-playing in the Lesbian world as Dyke-loving and Dyke-liberating. Looksism is also on the docket of critiqued privileges. The danger of buying into the dominant culture's view of how a woman should look is highlighted, as is the environmental impact of that same paradigm. The sickness of the body attempting to fit into het beauty is parallel to the sickness of the Earth poisoned by the control and domination of patriarchy. Long-term chronic illness, a feature of life for two of the authors, is often the outcome of both of these Dyke-destroying worldviews.
Always drawn to a phenomenological viewpoint, I found the segment by Ruston on Lesbian-only politics in Aotearoa (the Maori name for what has been colonized as New Zealand, p.11) to be both beautiful and poignant. Lesbian Separatists have not had an easy time of it, nor has it gotten easier. The courage required to maintain the position of Dykes-loving-Dykes flows out of the love generated and reflected by the gaze inherent in the position. Ultimately, this is a hopeful, transformative process.
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