Greg Knotts
Gray collects robust, detailed, and insightful voices in this discussion of queer youth. She very purposefully chooses the word 'queer' to describe the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth in this study. Since no collective term organically presented itself to capture the self-described identities of the youth in the study, Gray chooses queer, her own self-described political identity, to represent all the identities described by the youth in the study. The teens range in age from 14 to 18 and offer views on, among other topics, self-identity, coming out, god, the school environment, the Internet, relationships, and views on the future.
“In Your Face” is a comprehensible, easy read. A variety of audiences will find value in these stories. Academic researchers will discover voices into the often silenced world of gay youth. Parents of gay youth will grow to understand that their experiences of having gay children are not unique. Educators will gain insight into how better to serve queer youth in the school environment. The youth in the study are articulate, expressive, explicit, and specific in describing the daily lives of their world. It is up to the reader to hear and respond to their call.
Gray's study grew out of her thesis work in anthropology. She mailed fliers to queer youth support groups to secure participants. Gray conducted individual and collective interviews with the youth in her study. Part of the methodology in the study is unique in that the youth paired up and asked each other questions with Gray simply acting as facilitator and recorder. The lives and narratives, therefore, are much more organically relevant, as they come directly from the concerns, interests, and questions of the youth themselves.
General themes and experiences are present across the lives of the youth in the study. The teens describe oppressive, discrimination-filled, and sometimes violent environments from the school, to the church, to the larger community, to their own homes. Isolation and loneliness figure prominently in the daily lives of these queer youth. However, what is remarkable about this collection is the incredible sense of resiliency that most of these teens have in the face of very difficult circumstances. A more positive, self-actualized, and accepting sense of self is clear in these stories. This is what sets this collection apart from many other like studies. This may be attributed to the fact that the questions asked are often from the youth themselves, so there is more of an opportunity to discover aspects and experiences of their lives that other, (older?) researchers may not have had access to gaining.
The idea of the coming out process is one that each of the teens described. This 'performance of self' is described as an ongoing process that is not easily captured by a single event or moment. Gray discovers that the youth all have identifiable starting points in their self-discovery of defining their queer identities. Many of the youth describe experiences of fear, self-hatred, and denial in their coming out stories. The process of self-identification with a queer identity ranges in time, delicacy, and levels of acceptance.
Queer youth describe the difficulty of social norms, a perceived lack of support, and lack of resources as obstacles to their coming out. Coming out to self often escalates to coming out to parents and families, and then the larger communities of school, church, and the larger society. Youth feel that parents are especially perceived to be difficult to tell. Having a prevalence of only straight models, a silencing (either explicitly silenced or simply silenced by omission) of other options, and the lack of information and resources make it difficult to tell parents of a self-described queer identity. This difficulty only escalates in the larger environments of community, school, and church.
Church, actually, is perceived as among the most difficult environments for self-acceptance, as well as social acceptance. Going against family traditions and beliefs about homosexuality, queer youth live lives that are often in direct contradiction to perceived and accepted norms. Experiences range from 'letting god down' to feeling the need to question religion as a result of having a queer identity. The Judeo-Christian traditions are especially prevalent in social structures even outside of church. Queer youth perceive the morals and standards of these belief systems to inform the larger community and social spaces, making it difficult to live lives that are perceived to be in contradiction to these beliefs.
The school environment is no less difficult to negotiate. The constant use of 'fag' as a derogatory term and insult (whether meaning gay or simply dumb or different) is pervasive across the lives of these youth. Used by students and unquestioned by teachers, this term creates the mood of acceptance of a discriminatory and prejudiced environment. Death threats, physical and verbal harassment, and a lack of resources and support are also described by the queer youth in the study. They speak of the silencing of their voices, again, sometimes explicitly so, often, simply by the absence of opportunity or omission.
But these youth also know what is needed to change this environment. They call for more out role models among teachers. They call for straight teachers to be supportive and to confront the use of derogatory terms. They call for curricular inclusions about gay topics. They call for training, support, and resources in the schools. They call for opportunities to share their voices in ways that research like this offers them the chance to do.Queer youth also describe their need for or present experience of connection to the larger gay community. Many describe the transition from feeling alone, isolated, and unique to the realization that there are others who share like desires and experiences as a transformative one. Creating solidarity with others who share similar life experiences is important in the lives of queer youth. Those others can be other queer youth similar to themselves, or an adult community that helps model the existence of positive options and choices that youth may not have otherwise known existed. This longing for support and models is pervasive in the descriptions of these youth. Whether in the family, school, church, or larger community, youth desire to see reflections of themselves in the larger society. They call for communication between generations and the desire to understand a history of queer people that is often silenced in the schools, their families, or other popular cultural outlets.
Often, the connection longed for by the queer youth is just the desire to have like friends. To be able to commiserate and discuss life experiences with others who live similar lives is important to queer youth. Understanding that they are not alone, creating a queer culture and identity, and the desire for friends who they feel 'understand' them, are common desires voiced among the queer youth of the study. How others are negotiating relationships and navigating the larger society are other areas queer youth want to learn more about.
Gray concludes the collection with a look toward the future. It is one filled with activism, the desire for change, and more and more opportunities for queer youth to help each other and discover a voice in the larger society. They are aware that they are often silenced and absent in the larger whole. They want public acknowledgement and acceptance of who they are. They have developed a queer identity and secure sense of self, but are aware that this acceptance is often lacking in the larger society — and they want to discover ways to create that acceptance.
Almost all the youth speak of the desire for a relationship, marriage, and family. They want to create ways for the youth of the future — the not too distant future — to never experience the negative, unsupportive, and prejudicial environments they experienced.
The final chapter of the collection lends a space for the voices of the queer youth to share concrete, explicit, and specific ideas about what the future might (and they feel should) look like. They call for more classes that include gay topics. They call for better counseling and resources so suicide, depression, and fear will not be considered as the most viable options. They call for the training of teachers in acceptance of diversity and difference — and the need to include homosexuality in discussions of cultural differences. They call for teachers, other educators, and others to come out. Provide role models. They do not ask for activism. They ask for daily lives to be lived openly and honestly. They call for the diversity of role models they inherently know exist, but are not often presented in explicitly clear ways. They call for comprehensive sex education, instead of the systematic silencing of any options outside of procreative intercourse. They call for training for parents — create an outlet for parents to learn about ways to support their gay children.
Gray's collection lends voice to a population that is systematically silenced. The youth interviewed here offer clearly articulated pictures and insights into their daily lives and experiences. They offer illustrations about the lives of a variety of queer youth. The books last three words are "life goes on." This theme is pervasive in the collection of stories. Negative, depressing, and challenge-filled lives are described, echoing what much of the literature captures about the lives of queer youth. What Gray's study provides is an insight — from the youth themselves—into a future world of positive, whole lives where this negativity does not necessarily disappear, but simply becomes part of the spectrum of experiences that queer youth can experience. The youth are explicit and specific about what they need. It is up to the rest of us to respond to their call.
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